An anxiety therapist for when everything feels like too much
"There's a long list of things they expect me to just do, but I'm getting really overwhelmed." Make friends. Learn to drive. Go to the big loud event. Order at the drive-through. You wish you could just stay in your room, do your work, and have that be good enough. Or you want to go to things, because it's better than being alone, but you end up skipping most of what your friends invite you to. You'd love the freedom to get out of your head in a social situation.
I'm Brianna White, LMFT, an anxiety therapist at Intrepid Counseling. I help teens, adults and families understand what anxiety is doing, and then face hard things one layer at a time. Here's how.
What is anxiety?
Anxiety is, to put it simply, the feeling we have when our body is responding to a challenge. It's the way our organs act when our nervous system is activated. Sometimes it can feel comfortable, like before a game we're excited about. It's uncomfortable when it's very intense and when we don't like the challenge we're facing. And if we stay in that state for a long time, it can have emotional and health consequences.
It doesn't harm us to get activated, just to get stuck there. A healthy nervous system goes back and forth between relaxed and activated.
Common symptoms of anxiety
Overwhelm and shutdown: Very capable, until stress hits and nothing gets done.
Panic attacks: Racing heart, shaking hands, sure something terrible is happening.
Avoidance: Skipping invitations, putting off the hard assignment, a teen never quite getting behind the wheel for driving practice, even when they say they want to learn.
Body symptoms: Headaches, stomachaches, trouble sleeping.
Social anxiety: Worry about how you look or sound, replaying conversations afterward.
Irritability: Snapping at siblings or partners when you're running on empty.
How do I know if I need an anxiety therapist?
Is it shrinking your life? If you can't go to church, school or a party without feeling terribly nervous the whole time, that's worth help.
Are you dismissing it? I've heard people say, "well, I know it's just anxiety," as a way to dismiss a problem that is really clobbering their life.
Do you wait too long to take a break, ask for help, or make a plan? That pattern feeds overwhelm.
Do you believe that if it's overwhelming, it's too hard? Often it just needs to be broken down.
Who anxiety therapy is for
Therapy that focuses on reacting well, and staying peaceful inside when life is challenging, is a fit for teens and adults with social anxiety, school or performance anxiety, panic attacks, or overwhelm during a transition, and for parents who want to help an anxious kid. TCKs and expats are especially welcome. A lot of my clients come when they are facing intense anxiety right before, during or after transition.
It may not be the best fit if you need a higher level of care right now, or primarily medication management. I'm happy to coordinate with a prescriber.
How I treat anxiety
Beyond the strain of adjusting to something new, many of my clients are dealing with intense body reactions to uncomfortable situations. I help them unpack what unknowns and ambiguities are leading their body to have such a strong sense of threat. Then we figure out whether more information, thinking in a new way, or practice will help their body stop overestimating the threat.
My favorite tool is the situation sandwich. We list and draw everything that makes a situation hard, like it's a sandwich, complete with "left-handed lettuce," "language-learning ham" and "new kid cheese." Then we see if any layers are optional. Can we take something off the plate, or save it for later? You know what to do when you put too much in the tortilla and you can't wrap it? Get another tortilla. Can we add a sauce that makes it all easier, like music, earplugs, or a sibling to do it with?
Are you avoiding too much, or pushing too hard? Each extreme can lead to anxiety. Learning to handle anxious feelings is important, but let's not forget to check if we can just make life easier. Reducing chronic stressors reduces chronic stress. Let's take easier seriously.
And about panic attacks: a panic attack is a giant pain in the butt. It's terribly inconvenient and uncomfortable, and there's a solid chance you can't make it stop. The first thing to do is accept it. The worst thing to do is frantically fight it. Your job is to settle into it, observe it, measure it, and see if anything makes you more comfortable. While there are a lot of things that might help you handle it better or end it sooner, and we'll learn a bunch of these, the good news is it ends, no matter what you do.
I use CETA, which has clear flows for anxiety that's tangled with low mood or trauma, plus gradual practice facing what you've been avoiding.
What anxiety therapy looks like
We start with a 15-minute video call, then meet weekly, in person or online. Sessions are visual and practical. Expect diagrams, scales and a little silliness. With teens, parents learn the tools too.
Your first steps
Reach out with a sentence or two.
First session: we map what's making it hard and pick one first step.
About your anxiety therapist
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who grew up in Papua New Guinea. I didn't enter a bank until I was 26, and I kept looking for cars from the wrong direction in driver's ed. I know firsthand how new a "normal" task can be, and how much that newness counts. Clinically, I love helping teens face anxiety, especially when it stems from TCK complexities that feel threatening.
Anxiety goals we can work on
Calmer bodies: Understanding the nervous system and riding out the wave.
Facing avoided situations: Driving, social events, phone calls, one step at a time.
We can also work on teen anxiety with parents involved, anxiety after a scary event, and family patterns that feed worry.
Tips if you're anxious right now
Ask how new this is. Parents, you might be underestimating how big it is for a kid to adjust to a whole new country. Not on purpose, just because there are too many new things to consciously track. Ordering at a drive-through might be a first.
Slow down to plan. It's a good use of time to figure out what is making this hard before you push through.
Check the easier list. Tired, hungry, rushed, crowded, judged? Fix one thing.
Celebrate small wins. We all have what comes easily and what is a challenge, yet.
FAQ about anxiety therapy
What kind of therapist is best for anxiety? A licensed therapist trained in evidence-based approaches, like CBT-style skills and gradual exposure, who also understands your context.
How do I know if my anxiety needs therapy? If it's getting in the way of daily life, lasting more than a few weeks, or your own strategies aren't working, it's a good time.
Can anxiety go away with therapy? Anxiety is a normal emotion, so it won't disappear. Therapy helps it stop running the show.
How long does anxiety therapy take? Most of my clients reach their goals in 6 to 20 sessions. Weekly sessions get you done sooner in calendar time.
What should I do during a panic attack? Accept it rather than fight it. Slow your breathing, making sure the out-breath is longer than the in-breath, yawn huge like a hippo while making whale noises (ask me the vagus nerve reasons why this works), notice what's around you, and remind yourself it isn't dangerous and it will pass.
You can get there
If you're ready to work with an anxiety therapist, request an intro call. Still deciding? An intro call is a good place to ask questions, with no commitment.