This is the time of year when TCKs preparing for college start to see it on the horizon. It's common for TCKs to feel anxious about this transition, and it’s normal for that anxiety to start to increase about now. For many young people graduating from high school marks the end of childhood, but for some this transition may not be drastic, if they don't move out to go to college, or if they at least stay in the same country. But, for TCKs, graduating high school and going on to college or work can often mean the end of their life in their current country. That makes this transition an identity shift with much greater magnitude. Also, becoming independent and living away from parents is a more daunting challenge when it’s a new country and your parents are in a different one.
While it’s normal to feel anxious about this challenge, it’s not necessary to face these fears alone. A TCK therapist can help, especially if the anxiety is causing the senior to lose sleep, struggle to focus on school or disrupting relationships. In any case, this is an important time for parents to get specific with their children about what is coming up for them and the family. It is said that "information binds anxiety," so parents can greatly help their soon-to-be graduates by asking explicitly about the questions their child has about the future. Seek out the what-ifs, and worst case scenario worries they have. Then look for answers. I recommend writing all of this down. Writing it down helps parents and teens to organize the information gathering and it can help invite teens to express their concerns. Putting concerns on paper one by one also lets a person's brain stop spinning around in worries about the issue.
One simple way to do this: give each question its own line, then note what you learn and who you could ask next. Seeing the list get answered, one item at a time, can make the whole transition feel more manageable.
Many TCK care organizations also offer re-entry resources for graduating seniors, so it’s worth asking your school, sending organization or member care team what they recommend.
Photo by Miguel Henriques on Unsplash
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Read more about teen counseling and anxiety therapy.
If your family is carrying a move, a goodbye, or a story that feels hard to explain, you don’t have to sort it out alone. Book an intro call and let’s talk about what would help.