Depression therapy for when you've been "fine" for too long
You were pretty okay until now. You were even a little proud of how well you held it together through all the moves and goodbyes. Besides, you have nothing to complain about. So why are you sleeping all afternoon, crying out of nowhere, and feeling like you're letting everyone down, your family, your friends, even God? You long for a sense of peace that you are good enough, and that you've done enough.
I'm Brianna White, LMFT, and I offer depression therapy at Intrepid Counseling for teens and adults. I'll explain how I understand depression, how to tell it from grief (even when both are present), and how we can work on it together.
What is depression?
Depression is more than sadness. It's a heaviness that can make you uninterested in your favorite things. It takes your energy and hope, and it often comes with harsh thoughts about yourself. It shows up in sleep, appetite, focus and relationships.
One way I explain it is like this: our nervous system is like a ladder. We climb up when we're stressed, working harder and harder to meet the challenge. If we keep climbing up, past where there's no more ladder, we don't come down nice steps. We fall off the other side into shutdown, numb, flat. That low-energy state could help us survive some things, but outside of a crisis it looks a lot like depression. It's easy to miss, because a quiet person doesn't make trouble.
Common symptoms of depression
Escaping into sleep: Then feeling guilty about falling behind.
Losing interest: Hobbies, friends and faith feel pointless.
Harsh self-talk: "I'm so stupid," "This is impossible," "There's no point."
Withdrawing: Skipping invitations, staying in your room.
Irritability: Especially in kids and teens, depression can look like extra crankiness. Of course that's true for adults too, but we can usually hide it better. Increasing impatience you can sorta keep a lid on still counts as a sign you're struggling.
Not feeling like yourself: Parents often see it first: "She's not really herself."
How do I know if I need depression therapy?
Is it grief, or more? Grief comes and goes. Relatively speaking, depression tends to keep you more consistently blah. Sometimes both happen at once.
Is it a time of year? For many TCKs, graduation season brings back years of friends moving away. Watch out for death and loss anniversaries. Even if you know why you're depressed, you still deserve help.
Are there finally no transitions ahead? Sometimes the mind waits until life is calm to deal with it all.
Is daily life getting messed up? If being kind to yourself isn't clearing it up, don't delay getting help.
How long is it lasting? Feeling depressed for a few hours, or a day or two, could be normal (but check that feeling for valuable information about what is so important to you). However, if you're feeling consistently down for more than two weeks, let's talk about how to get feeling better.
Who depression therapy is for
This is the type of care for teens and adults with low mood, burnout, discouragement after a move, unresolved grief, or depression that's tangled up with anxiety or trauma. It's also for adult TCKs who have felt down off and on for years, and who suspect nobody really wants to hear about a place that far away.
If you're having thoughts of suicide or can't stay safe, please contact emergency services or a crisis line right away. If we're working together and you start to feel worse, I can help you find a higher level of care when it's needed.
How I approach depression therapy
I start by getting curious about why life feels so stuck or heavy right now. I'm careful not to overdiagnose. Normal grief and adjustment stress can look like depression, and they deserve their own type of consideration. I'm also careful not to underdiagnose, because a lot of quiet suffering hides behind "I have to be okay."
I use CETA, the Common Elements Treatment Approach, which is designed for symptoms that fit more than one pattern, like depression with anxiety, or depression with trauma. We work on activity that brings back energy, thinking patterns that keep you stuck, and the feelings underneath.
Restoration Therapy helps us catch what a situation makes you feel about yourself. Say a teen says, "I'm stupid, you can't make me do any more of this homework, it's impossible!" We might say together, "You're feeling stupid, hopeless and helpless, and it's making you want to quit. What I know about you is that some subjects come easy and some are hard, like everybody. This is a hard one, but that doesn't make you stupid. So how about a 20-minute break, then 20 more minutes, then done for the day?" Name the feeling, notice the reaction, remember what's true, choose what to do.
What depression therapy looks like
We start with a 15-minute video call, then meet weekly, in person or online. We'll measure how things are going, so you can see progress even when it feels slow. With teens, I include parents.
First steps toward feeling like yourself
Reach out. A sentence or two is enough.
First session: we look at what's weighing on you and set first goals.
About your therapist
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who grew up in Papua New Guinea. I've worked with globally mobile clients online since 2019, and before that with kids and teens recovering from trauma. I like to take on tough topics, and we'll pursue your goals with a joyful relentlessness. We will use any means necessary, including seriousness, silliness, spreadsheets, talking, diagrams, games, drawing, anything that will work for you to get back to feeling like yourself, even if it's been too long to remember what that was like.
What depression therapy can help with
Getting energy and interest back.
Kinder, truer self-talk.
We can also work on separating grief from depression, teen depression with parents involved, faith and depression, family patterns, and low mood once life finally slows down.
Tips if you're feeling low right now
Shrink the next step. Opening the laptop counts. A 20-minute dip in, then step back counts too.
Move your body in a way that works where you live. Make a "ways to move" list for this place and season.
Notice anniversaries. If a time of year hurts, plan something comforting for it.
Tell one person. It's ok to not be ok, especially when you can get help where you are.
FAQ about depression therapy
What is the best therapy for depression? Evidence based approaches like CBT, behavioral activation and interpersonal therapy work well. The best fit is one that matches your life and what's underneath the low mood.
How do I know if I'm depressed or just sad? Sadness moves. Depression lingers for weeks, squashes your curiosity and creativity, and affects sleep, appetite and energy.
Can depression go away without treatment? Sometimes, but it often comes back or drags on. Therapy usually shortens it and helps prevent or lessen the next round.
What are signs of depression in teens? Irritability, withdrawing, sleeping a lot or very little, falling grades, and harsh talk about themselves.
Do I need medication for depression? Not always. Many people improve with therapy alone. If medication might help, I'll coordinate with a prescriber.
It's ok to not be ok
If you're ready to start depression therapy, request an intro call. Questions first is fine. Request an intro call and ask away.