A child therapist who sees your kid's strengths first
Maybe your daughter used to bounce out of bed for school, and now there's a stomachache every Monday. Maybe your son melts down over the wrong socks, won't sleep in his own room, or has gone quiet since the move. Or maybe something happened, a car accident, a death in the family, a frightening night, and your child seems mostly fine. You're just not sure "mostly fine" is good enough.
I'm Brianna White, LMFT, a child therapist at Intrepid Counseling. I'm also a Child Mental Health Specialist, a Washington designation that means I've had extra training and supervision focused on kids' mental health needs. Here's how I help kids, and the grownups who love them, get back to feeling like themselves.
What does a child therapist do?
Kids (just like adults) get stressed by all kinds of things: a new school, a new sibling, a friend moving away, a grandparent getting sick, a classroom that's too loud, or a country that's brand new. Big changes bring big feelings, and kids often notice them in their bodies first, like a tight stomach, a racing heart, or a sudden need to hide. Unlike adults, they often can't say what's wrong, but will show us with their behavior instead. It's our job to unpack what their behavior means.
A child therapist helps kids figure out what's making life hard, and what they already have that can help. Every kid comes with gifts. Maybe your child is funny, artistic, stubborn, curious about bugs, or great with little cousins. Those strengths are coping skills waiting to be pointed at the right problem. And when something comes along that their current tools can't handle, we learn a new one together.
Common signs your child is stressed
Body complaints: Stomachaches, headaches, or "I feel sick" right before school, church or bedtime.
Big reactions to small things: Meltdowns, tears or anger that seem out of proportion. Kids' behavior is communication about what they need.
Going backwards: Wetting the bed again, baby talk, or needing a parent nearby to fall asleep.
Avoiding: Fighting the car seat, the classroom, the bathtub, or anything that reminds them of something scary.
Replaying it in play: Acting out the same sad or scary story with toys, over and over.
Going quiet: A child who stops asking questions or seems far away can be struggling too. Quiet kids are easy to miss.
How do I know if my child needs counseling?
Is it lasting? Rough patches are normal. If your child isn't getting back to themselves after a few weeks, it's worth a conversation.
Is it getting in the way? Of school, sleep, friendships, family time or fun.
Did it start after a move, a loss or a scary event? That's a great reason to reach out early, before things pile up.
Have you already tried the usual things? If the sticker chart, the extra snuggles and the talks aren't working, you're not failing. You might just need a different map.
Kids and parents I work with
Child counseling with Brianna is a good fit for kids dealing with worry, sadness, anger, sleep trouble, a big transition, grief or a frightening experience. TCK, missionary and multicultural families are especially welcome, and so are kids who have lived in one place their whole lives. For older kids, see teen counseling.
It may not be the best fit if your child needs a higher level of care right now. Safety comes first, and I'll help you find the right support.
How I work with kids
Sessions with kids are playful on purpose. With diagrams, word banks for big feelings, and a good dose of humor, kids learn what anxiety is doing in their bodies and trust that they can ride it out. We draw, play games, make lists, and sometimes get very silly, because laughing is good for a nervous system on high alert.
Together we take stock of what's hard right now, and of what your child is already good at. A kid who loves drawing can draw the worry, then shrink it. A kid who loves facts can become the expert on their own nervous system. A kid who takes great care of the dog can learn to take care of their own body when it's upset. Then, if there's a gap, we practice new coping skills, like slow breathing, naming feelings, asking for help, or taking a break and coming back.
I use CETA, the Common Elements Treatment Approach, when worry, sadness and hard memories show up together, and Restoration Therapy's word banks, so kids have the right big word for a big feeling.
When something sad or scary happens
Potentially traumatic events are quite common in childhood: car accidents, medical emergencies, a pet dying, a parent's sudden illness, a natural disaster, an evacuation, or seeing something violent. Many kids bounce back with a little support. Some get stuck.
If your child has had a very sad or very scary experience recently, we can talk it through together, at a pace they can handle. That helps us find out how it's affecting them now, and make sure they don't get stuck feeling bad. I spent six years at a Child Advocacy Center working with kids recovering from frightening experiences, and I'm certified in Trauma-Focused CBT for kids, so this is familiar ground. If it turns out more is needed, see trauma therapy.
I team up with parents
If you work with kids, you really have to know how to work with the family. So parents are part of child counseling from the start. For the youngest children, I coach parents to use the tools at home, since you're with your child far more than I am. Parents can do a lot, with the right map. The goal is that you and your child share an understanding of what was hard and what helps, and feel confident keeping it going without me.
What sessions with your child look like
We start with a 15-minute video call. In our first session, I meet with your child and with you, together and separately. We usually meet weekly, in person or online.
Starting with your child
Reach out. A sentence or two about what's going on is plenty.
Request an intro call. Fifteen minutes on video to see if I'm the right fit.
First session: we map out what's hard, what's already working, and pick first goals together.
About your child therapist
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Washington Child Mental Health Specialist, which means I've had extra training and supervision focused on kids' mental health. I grew up in Papua New Guinea, where my village was destroyed by a tsunami, so I know firsthand that hard things happen to kids, and that kids can come through them. Before private practice, I spent six years at a Child Advocacy Center helping kids heal. I bring steadiness, curiosity, fun and silliness to every session.
What kids work on with me
In sessions, kids work on worry and big body feelings, missing people and places, recovering after a scary event, growing into the teen years, calmer evenings at home, and feeling at home in more than one culture.
Tips for parents right now
Give the feeling a name. "You look really disappointed" helps more than "You're fine." The right word is half the relief.
Tell the story all the way to safe. After a scary event, retell what happened in simple words, all the way through to how everyone is okay now.
Keep routines. What stays the same tells kids what the hard thing didn't get to mess with.
Look for the gift. Notice out loud what your child did well, even on a hard day: "That was brave, telling me that."
Make it easier on purpose. Tired, hungry, rushed or overstimulated kids have less bandwidth for other challenges. How can you simplify the situation so that they can have the heart of the experience you want for them?
FAQ about child counseling
At what age can a child start therapy? Kids of almost any age can benefit. With very young children, much of the work happens through parents, who learn tools to use at home.
How do I explain therapy to my child? Keep it simple: "This is someone whose job is helping kids with big feelings. You'll draw and play and talk, and I'll be part of it too."
Was what happened serious enough to need therapy? You can't tell how a hard event affected a child just from hearing about the event. If they aren't clearly getting back to themselves after about a month, or you're worried, it's worth talking through. There's no such thing as too soon to have support. Early intervention prevents bad coping habits.
Will I know what my child talks about in counseling? Parents stay involved and hear the big picture and any safety concerns. Kids also get some privacy, which helps them open up and talk about it in ways they haven't yet at home.
How long does child counseling take? It depends on what's going on. Most of my clients reach their goals in 6 to 20 sessions, and weekly sessions get you there sooner.
Your child doesn't have to carry it alone
If you're ready to talk with a child therapist, request an intro call. Not sure yet? Request an intro call anyway. If I am not the right person, I'll do my best to get you to the right person.